Trans and gay: How trans people have been roped into the conversation about consent

Photo credit: aestheticsjournal.com

Taboo speaks to Anna Leigh, a trans woman from the US who is all too familiar with the issues facing trans folk today. We also speak to an organiser from the ‘Get the L Out’ campaign group, who protested trans rights at London Pride this year.

There is a long history of issues that trans people have faced. From the issues of what toilets to use and changing their legal documents, to the more severe issues of violence and hate – there are still many controversies facing the trans rights movement to this day.

Anna Leigh, a 33-year-old, from Kentucky, USA, is familiar with these issues and more. She says she has known she was different since the age of six, but felt she had no one to turn to about feelings of dysphoria. Anna knew from seeing how her sisters were encouraged and allowed to act that that was what she wanted, but she couldn’t admit it to her conservative family.

“I had two older sisters who my mom would take on shopping trips. They would always come home with bag after bag of colourful clothes. I would feel jealous, not because they went while I was at home, but I would look at and feel those clothes, and then look at the jeans and t-shirts I had, and jealousy would come up.”

When Anna finally did come out to her family, just six years ago, she received the exact kind of negative response she had been both expecting and dreading. She says that, since then, it has been “swept under the rug” and that they quickly change the topic if any conversations alluding to physical transitioning come up.

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Another issue that she faces comes from her job as a trucker. She says: “The trucking community is pretty conservative, and routinely I get stared at, insulted, and, multiple times, assaulted. So, I've had to safeguard myself, like only walking into a truck stop when it’s light outside, not walking between trailers, carrying my keys between my fingers.”

Anna believes that all trans people constantly feel the pressure of potential threats and physical abuse.

“Every trans person wants one thing: acceptance. Yet, every day we are assaulted, insulted, and made to feel worthless."

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A topic that comes up during my conversation with Anna (and that comes up regularly online) is educating people about trans folk to avoid misunderstandings that lead to hate. Anna brings up ‘TERFs’, short for trans-exclusionary radical feminists. This is a relatively new term that has been applied to feminists who do not include trans women in their push for rights and acceptance.

The discussion about so-called ‘TERFs’ lit up on Twitter and other social media earlier this year, after a campaign group protested the trans movement at London Pride. Get the L Out marched at the front of the parade whilst handing out leaflets and holding banners. Angela Wild, an organiser from the group, explained to Taboo what the purpose of Get the L Out is.

“What we’re saying is that lesbians are being erased. They’re being erased in two different ways. The first thing that we’ve seen is that there’s been a huge pressure on lesbians – particularly on younger lesbians who may be vulnerable – to accept male-bodied people as sexual partners because those people say they identify as lesbians.”

It is impossible to argue with the idea that no one should be forced into accepting anyone as a sexual partner – this is quite literally the definition of rape. However, how many lesbians agree that this is happening? An official statement from the organisers of London Pride claimed that lesbian board members did not agree with the group’s message and actions.

Nonetheless, numbers do not always matter. If even a small number of women feel they are being coerced into sexual relationships, it merits an investigation and response. When trying to untangle this issue, it is important to remember that everyone is responsible for their own actions, regardless of how they define their gender. Of course, it is unacceptable to force someone to be intimate, but this is not an issue exclusive to trans people.

Anna, who defines as pansexual, says: “I think, instead of trying to point out an entire section of the LGBT movement, we would have to look at the individuals involved, and how they handle the situation. Is one person using transphobic language when turning down another individual? Is one person being forceful in their advances?”

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It seems that, yet again, a breakdown in communication and a lack of understanding between two groups of people has led to dispute. Anna points out that she does not speak for all trans folk, but she feels that is obviously not acceptable for trans women to automatically expect cisgender lesbians to have sex with them.

However, Angela feels that when women raise their concerns about this, they are met with heavy criticism.

“Most lesbians who are pressured or victimised are scared, isolated within their own community and do not dare to speak up because we are called transphobic as soon as we mention our stories.”

We all have a right to feel at ease in our relationships – especially those of a sexual nature. This claim from Angela does not sit right. A person should not be called transphobic for not wanting to have sex with someone who hasn’t transitioned – should they?

Anna believes that if the situation is treated with respect, there is no need to label somebody as transphobic for not wanting to have sex with a trans person.

“If she reacts with ‘Oh, I’m sorry, but I find penises disgusting and I’m not in the mood’ ok, fair – that’s fine. However, some people have the reaction of “Oh my God, you’re a guy. You acted like a girl to get me to sleep with you!” Of course, there would be a discussion, but misgendering is definitely a red flag on the way to being a transphobic person.”

It's relevant to note that Pride celebrations came to be, in large part, due to trans people standing up for gay rights. Nowadays, there’s a plethora of issues facing trans folk, and it's certainly interesting – if not concerning – to see that some of these issues stem from the LGBT community itself.

As Anna points out and as many agree, education and conversation seem to be the way to address misconceptions. Get the L Out certainly did a good job at sparking a conversation around the issue of consent – but was it fair to implicate all trans people in the process?

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If you are affected by any of the issues mentioned in this article, you can contact the LGBT helpline, Switchboard, by calling: 0300 330 0630

Or, visit their website.